For the cynical, there is a long list of old Hollywood adages about what movie audiences will go for. One of them is “Everybody loves the talking animals.” Even if it’s true, all the talking animals in the world won’t help you enjoy Zookeeper.
Griffin (Kevin James) is the head keeper of a small city-based zoo in Boston. He’s great with the animals, and is loved by most of the staff, including veterinarian Kate (Rosario Dawson). But he’s still nursing a broken heart from five years earlier, when his girlfriend Stephanie (Leslie Bibb) dumped him in the middle of a marriage proposal, citing his job as the reason she couldn’t be with him. Now, Stephanie is back to attend Griffin’s brother’s wedding, and after she mentions Griffin might still have “potential”, he is smitten again.
The zoo animals, fearing that Griffin might leave his job for her, and knowing they’ll never get a replacement as good as him, break their code of not speaking to humans in order to give him the advice he needs to win the girl. Yes, that’s right, animals can really talk, but they choose not to reveal this fact to humans, except of course in cases of extreme self-interest.
As movie premises go, this is reasonable, straight-forward and simple. But wait – why are the animals doing this again, exactly? Isn’t this the woman who dumped Griffin because he’s a zookeeper? And they want to help him get her back so he can continue to be a zookeeper? Maybe I missed the explanation for this leap in logic, but if so, some real work needed to be done to the script to make the animals’ motivation more clear.
Then again, everything else about the film doesn’t make much sense either. Griffin is obviously not that great with women, but is he really so dim to believe that roaring like a bear and peeing on trees to mark his territory is going to impress a classist like Stephanie? And is everyone else around him supposed to be impressed by his animal behaviour, as well? And just what is it about Stephanie that’s so great, anyway? We never see anything remotely attractive about her, and she still seems attached to semi-ex-boyfriend Gale (Joe Rogan). I like comedies about dumb characters, but this one stretches even my patience.
I know, romantic plots like this are full of misguided behaviour, and people chasing the wrong partner when the ideal one is right under their nose. But even if we could forgive that nonsense, the pacing of the film just adds to the problems. We get a scene with the animals advising Griffin, and then a scene of Griffin doing something pointless and unsuccessful outside the zoo, and then back to the animals, and so on. It’s like watching the romantic behaviour of kids at a Grade 8 dance, with all the same excitement. The only time anything interesting occurs is when Griffin takes an emotionally damaged gorilla out for a night on the town – because he can talk, everyone assumes it’s a guy in a great costume. But that doesn’t have anything to do with the rest of the movie.
James is a likeable actor, who has thrown himself into this part, but there’s not much comedy for him to work with here. And though the voice talent for the animals is great, and they raise a few chuckles, the whole thing is too much of a mess.
Skip this one. Find a better talking animal movie.
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Dear David:
This is a kid’s movie so I suggest you you should have just sat back and enjoyed with kids…since there are so very few movies a family can enjoy without the worry of violence, foul language and inappropriate behaviour. That makes 2 great movies for kids this summer including Mr. Popper’s Penguins. I don’t think that any of us attending this movie were looking for a romantic movie or a big twist at the end…but we thoroughly enjoyed it and are grateful for Kevin James and his “entourage” who gave us a lot of laughs last Friday night at Encore.Much needed. Much appreciated.Much fun.